If you’ve read past the title, the good news is it’s not game over just yet. As human beings it’s perfectly normal to feel unappreciated or distant when your partner isn’t giving the responsive support you need to assure yourself in the relationship. The feeling of “being alone” at times is enough for some to call it quits and find someone better suited to fill that “emotional gap”. If you see yourself approaching this crossroad, or if you’re already there and it’s time to decide, here’s something to consider:
Where are you both in your level of engagement? Is it happening in the early stages? If you’re already feeling disconnected with your partner after just a few dates in, it may be a warning sign of things to expect in the future should you decide to stay. Sure, you can say to yourself that “the sparks in the beginning was great, and just because you’re not seeing eye to eye now doesn’t mean that it will stay that way”. This is an attempt we use to try to justify the means of something that’s not aligning with your gut instinct. If you haven’t voiced this out to anyone, then it’s likely that no one is challenging your initial thoughts this early in the relationship. But, your “gut instinct” has a way of being honest with yourself even if at first you try to reject it. Our theory is that this part of yourself acts as a deterrent for things that will not be in your favor. Think about a time when you felt something was just off. Your gut instincts keep you aware of that situation and you can’t stop thinking about until you act on it, towards or against your feelings. And in most cases, it will always be in your favor. That’s why It’s even more important to think about yourself and your wants and needs before anyone else. No one wants to be the only person engaged in a relationship. It’s like driving a car with only 2 wheels on one side. The sparks you see and feel may be exciting for the moment, but the cost of damages to your emotional vehicle can be very expensive to repair.
It may seem difficult to just let things go especially if you’ve already invested your time, resources and emotional intelligence towards that person. It can sometimes feel like a game of tug of war, when your trying to decide with your gut and your mind on deciding to stay or move on. Do you remember that feeling you had when taking that quiz and ran across a difficult multiple-choice question that provided an A through D of potential answers? You read the question and gloss over the 4 letters along with their different responses. At that point, your first gut feelings and knowledge in your being says the answer is A, but you second guess yourself and try to make a logical decision to go with C because it also somewhat answers the question. So, you go with C, and when the quiz is given back to you, you missed the points for that question since the correct answer was A. For a just a moment you question the logic to why you selected something else, when your initial gut feeling and knowledge applied towards that question already decided for you. You knew the answer but you second guess it, because something swayed your otherwise. That’s kind of what this situation is now. Your gut and intuition told you A, which is your first instinctive choice, but you’re trying to make sense of justifying to yourself why it should not be A, but something else. According to Albert.IO, In most cases, your first gut choice is often the right one. If you feel that the relationship is fairly new, and you’re seeing the signs of problems to come, trust your gut and life experience to help direct your motives towards that answer.