Can friends with benefits be enough in today’s dating and relationships?

woman holding man s hand during day
Photo by Tan Danh on

If you research this topic, you’ll get a response of over 26 million articles, blogs, and case studies supporting both the acceptance and rejection of the idea. In this wonderful digital age we live in, you’ll likely date individuals that provides you more reasons to say YES to friends with benefits because meeting Mr. or Ms. Right is difficult to find in the minefield of modern dating. Match conducted a study in 2017 of a population of singles living in the United States. Their research of 5000 participants states that 69% are really looking for a serious relationship. What’s interesting about their analysis is that 55% of the singles are or have had “friends with benefits” relations that stemmed from just “being friends”. That’s in comparison to, only 40% who preferred to build a “friendship” first or 44% of those who prefer to go on official dates where they skip the sex and prefer to just hang out.

So what does this mean? Well, on one hand, you might be thinking that it’s a great way to get your sexual fix without the hassle of commitment. On the other hand, you may be asking yourself, if it’s really “OK” that the benefits are temporary and that person isn’t really just for you. To know where you stand on this topic, ask yourself how you would feel if you had to share your cell phone, or toothbrush with others. How about your vehicle, clothing, expensive designer bags, or shoes? For most of us since birth, we’ve been taught to take anything and make it our own. You’ve done it when you’ve consumed milk as a baby, you’ve done it again as a child when you received something you really like, and you’ve done it as an adult when you’ve invested time, money or energy towards something you really enjoy. Bottom line is when you want something that makes you happy, there’s a higher possibility that you’ll claim it for yourself.

Now don’t get the wrong idea, sure we share. It just depends on what that is. You decide if friends with benefits are the way to go, or if you want it to be more exclusive. Once you’ve crossed that line and go from just friends to friends with benefits, it may be challenging to revert back to just friends. Just remember that the longer you decide to just be friends without pursuing it further, the higher the possibility that your friend can be swooped up by someone who wants them exclusively for themselves. After all, it’s only human nature.

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