Jealousy in a relationship. Is it really all bad?

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Growing up in the 90’s, I’ve seen jealousy as a negative instead of a positive. Of course, it didn’t help that many of the popular TV series shows we’re really dramatic when a couple deals with what I use to call a “relationship poacher” or couple thief” whose primary purpose was to disrupt a normal couple by making physical or emotional moves to create an opportunity to steal your or your partner out of the current relationship. Watching that, and then allowing my overly high teenager emotions to kick into overdrive didn’t help me at all. It didn’t help me in identifying the needs of my partner, or the danger that I’ve put the relationship in by being ignorant to that threat.

However fast forward to the present, I no longer look at jealousy the same way. Part of it was growing up. After leaving high school, I’ve experienced dating and relationships in a whole new light. Through trial and error, I’ve come to understand that in order to really appreciate the conceptual value of a relationship, jealousy is a component towards self-worth. Supporting studies state that factors such sexual infidelity and emotional infidelity drives men and women to imagine the worst-case scenario based on his past history of relationships. A good way to approach jealousy is to discuss the driving factors so the pain or frustrations of it can be remedied or avoided. The words trust and respect should not be taken lightly when applied towards you and your partner’s ability to face situations that may test each other’s self-worth. Having an open line of communication helps clear the air on misunderstandings and threats that could hurt feelings and pride. Jealousy should not be based solely on the negatives. It can be good way to understand your value for and from your partner when applied with respect towards one another.

Source: https://www.gottman.com/blog/why-do-we-get-jealous-in-relationships/

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