The value of opposite personalities in a relationship

man kissing left cheek of smiling woman
Photo by Git Stephen Gitau on

Remember when you first learned about magnets? Someone showed you than when you put two of the opposite charges or sides of a magnet, they’ll attract. In its basic form, this concept applies to everything that has two opposing factors. One example that comes to mind is the north and south pole’s electromagnetic polarity. But let’s hold off on the science of magnetism part for another day. Let’s get back to how that applies to dating and relationships today.

Unless you’ve lived under a rock for the last few decades, it’s likely that you’ve either been or currently in a relationship with someone that may seem like your complete opposite. According to Hudson and Fraley, what we seek from others to fulfill the role of our partner, stems from our needs of support during the infancy stages of our lives. Individuals who experience consistent love early in their childhood develops a secure attachment vs. those who receive harsh and/or inconsistent love early in their childhood may develop insecure attachment. Therefore, if our dependency for others is directly correlated to how we view our needs when we we’re kids, how does that apply to whom we choose to be our partners as an adult? In her blog, Dr. Vinita Mehta explains that our dependency for others in a relationship should not be based on the how we look for those with personality to ourselves. Instead it should be based on being in a relationship where you can complement each other’s personality, as well as understand the differences. In other words, by being with a person that’s somewhat or completely opposite of your characteristics and nature, you can both address each other’s weaknesses by the other’s strength. This opposite attraction creates the harmony and balance that help us grow and evolve to better ourselves, and those we love and care for.

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