12 common phrases that a victim in an abusive relationship may say to themselves to stay

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If your reading this article, chances are you’ve probably wondered one of two things. 1, who would in their right state of mind want to stay in an abusive relationship. Or 2, you either have been, currently are or know of someone who’s dealing with this problem. According to CDC, on average 20 people suffer every minute from physical abuse from their significant other. Through their study of 571 people in relationships, men suffer as much as women when dealing with emotional abuse from their partner. This means that each year, over 10 million Americans are victims to psychological and physical abuse from people that they believe should love and trust the most. Intimate partner abuse is a complex issue that definitely goes beyond the boundaries of age, race, and gender and can go unrecognized or unreported for many years or longer. Below is a list of statements that those in an abusive relationship may say to themselves:

  1. I have a child with this person, I don’t have the choice to leave.
  2. No one will love me after this.
  3. No one else will take care of me like they do
  4. My child has grown attached to this person
  5. It’s my first real/serious relationship
  6. They’ve helped me financially and I owe it that person to stay
  7. I thought I can turn things around
  8. I still love that person regardless
  9. I’m doing it for our child/children
  10. I want to be loved, and the abuse only happened once
  11. It’s because it’s my fault
  12. I saw my parents go through the same thing, so I thought it was ok

Studies show that repeated themes of abused victims involved financial concerns, parental responsibilities, marriage obligation or still be in love with their abuser. As mentioned in our prior article are you in an abusive relationship, it’s difficult to assess the damage when you’re knee deep in the trenches. Sometimes the best thing that can be done is to assess your situation first before acting out in a way that may put you in harm’s way.

Moving forward from after abusive relationship

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