Slow and Steady wins your relationship race

man and woman forming heart hand shape
Photo by juan mendez on

In a previous article “Is this serious? Acknowledging your relationship beyond dating,” we spoke about simplifying your feelings towards your partner, and if you’re ready to take it to a more committed stage in your relationship. If you find yourself not convinced, here are two factors to check off in your mind to help get you to your answer:

How long have you been seeing each other? A study from “Time Off” of over 11,000 participants state that most couples start to engage in a more serious step in their relationship around six to eight weeks from the initial conception of them dating. Considering your individual responsibilities such as work, time alone for yourself, gym or other hobbies, hanging with your friends and any other events. a safe conservative amount is 7 to 10 dates within 2 months.

Do you talk to each other regularly? This should come as no surprise that communication is key to knowing if you’re ready to get serious. Most new relationships typically start with talking to each other once or twice a day, and minimum of 2 to 3 times a week depending on how busy your both are. Acknowledging each other’s time is a great way to show respect and appreciation for you and your partner’s lifestyle. For example, you work a 9 to 5 schedule, and you make the effort to call or text in the morning, break time and at the end of the day. If you’re the type who loves to talk about anything and everything all the time, communicating 2-3 times a day may seem pretty normal. However, let’s say you both have a strenuous schedule. Maybe you’re both doing something that takes up a lot of your time, and you don’t the luxury of talking more than once a day. How about if you’re both living on opposite sides of the planet or on different time zones. It’s ideal for couples would work out a schedule that best fits their unique circumstances. Our recommendation is once a day.

Being honest about your individual needs on these topics will save both of you the headaches and heartaches in the future when thinking about growing as an exclusive couple.

My wife is a big fan of romantic comedy series, and I’m a big on anime. We both tend to binge watch our favorite shows. One thing I’ve always found fascinating when engaging ourselves into these episodes, is our desire to want to know everything, to help make sense of it all. If you’re like us, you watch a great episode, and suddenly you’re hooked and want to learn more. So what else do you do? you watch episode after episode (sometimes skipping to the middle or end of that series) and as you learn about it, you develop an opinion about the characters and subconsciously a relationship towards them as well. At some point you get your hopes up, sometimes anxiety takes over depending on what happening during show. And as much as we hate to think about it, you get disappointed too. I think it’s the hopeless romantic in all of us that sets that tone. So even watching a series on Netflix or Hulu can create different stages of happiness, tension or any other emotional attachment depending on how engaged we allow ourselves to be. Relationships should be no different. There’s nothing wrong with skipping ahead to see if the two of you are meant to be, part of the adventure is learning about the characters involved in your own relationship series and all the good, the bad and unknown that comes along with it. So, don’t over think it. Trust your gut, and practical logic to move forward to the next episode.

Summer Date Ideas


So it’s officially summer time and you’ve run out of ideas to take your significant other to.  On top of that you’re (almost) broke.  So what do you do? Staying home may not always be an option, and sometimes you just need to get out of the house.  But let’s face it, were not made of money and depending on your lifestyle, the dollar signs are limited.

Well have no fear ladies and gentlemen, below are a list of simple solutions for a date night that is little to no cost (depending on your location of course).

Play Tourist – It may seem a bit tacky, but it’s a great way to expand your knowledge of your city or other cities nearby.  You also get a healthy dose of Vitamin D.

Karaoke Night- have a friend that has one? Set up a double date and swing by their house for a night of laughs and fun times.

Outdoor Sport – If singing or walking around the city is not your thing, bring your date to an outdoor event like volleyball, basketball, tennis etc.  It’s a great way to burn a few calories and share a sweat with someone you like outside of the bedroom.

Scavenger Hunt through Memory Lane – Great for couples that have been together for a bit.  Put together lists of things that you shared and have them guess or vise versa.  This is a great way to let them know that you remember the great things that jump started your rockin’ relationship.

Good Ol’ Picnic at the Park – Nothing beats a romantic date under a shady tree.  You can even bring an instrument and serenade your other have to put icing on the cake.

Volunteer – If you want to show your caring side, set up a date volunteering.  It shows that you are the kind of person that helps the community which is a big plus in a lot of people’s check list.

Partner Massage – Want to keep it indoors? No one says you need to be perfect at it.  *Warning* this can often lead to other activities which may or may not go in your favor.

The key thing to remember is have a great time.  Showing that you are fun, smart, active, compassionate and romantic is a great way to maintain that your brownie points is topped off.  All relationships start out as dates, and dates are essential to maintain a great relationship.


Whats your “secret sauce” to a healthy relationship?

healthy relationships

If you’re in to this sort of thing, then you probably know that a healthy relationship can make this part of your life more meaningful, joyful and fulfilled.  I consider a healthy relationship with a person to be like owning a well maintained vehicle.  Regardless of time, model or year, as long as you do the regular maintenance (like having a date night, tell them how much they are appreciated, do something nice etc) and your 30k, 60k, 90k (anniversaries, birthday, or a special event) then life is good.

I don’t know many healthy relationships where couples don’t have a misunderstanding once in a while.  I personally believe it’s unfair to you and your mate to have to give a part of yourself up to please the other person or vise versa; the tips below are a good way to create and maintain a balance.

  • Speak Up – If something is bothering you, it’s best to let it surface early than waiting till the pot is overflowing.  This way you don’t catch the other person off guard.
  • Respect your other half – Even if you think it’s not a big deal, it still shows your partner that you value their feelings
  • Compromise – This is a big one.  All healthy relationships understand that it’s a 2 way street.  It’s a true testament to give a little to take a little.
  • Be Supportive – Be the shoulder to cry on, be the shield when you need to be, and be the friend that lends the ear to their problems while offering solutions.

But it doesn’t end there.  I was taught a simple saying that stuck with me up to this day. “Separation brings Appreciation.” The way I interpret this is to give yourself some well deserved “you time”, and let your partner do the same.

  • Go out with friends by yourself so you never lose that part of you
  • Continue or get into hobbies that you like
  • Don’t share all your logins and passwords to all your bank accounts and social media sites

On a final note, enjoy each other’s time. Be spontaneous and do fun stuff like going on a road trip, visit memory lane on where you both first met, join some activity together and continue to create (more) fun memories.  Each of us is responsible to adding your own ingredients and spices to create our own relationship’s “secret sauce.” You only live once so don’t take life so seriously that you spend it alone.

Now go to your other half, plan something and show them what they mean to you.  Just be sure to take pictures for your scrap book!