We Live because We Choose To Live

I would be lying if I told myself that I have not been affected emotionally about the recent natural and man-made disasters in the past few weeks.  What we are used to seeing in television happens right in our backyard, streets, and neighborhood every day. And while I am not the type to always give my 2 cents, I felt that in my re-introduction blog this week, I will do that.

I’ve had the pleasure of reading a few books from a great author by the name of “Paulo Coelho”.  Regardless of which faith we all believe in, life’s learning lessons apply to all of us. Below is a list of phrases I took away from this man:


  • Listen to your heart – Follow your dreams… don’t get old and wonder about the “What ifs”
  • Taking the good with the bad – We experience both because strive to move forward and keep living
  • There are many sides of yourself to love – If one aspect of life is painful or feeling empty, remember that there are many sides of your personality to look at.  Look at the things that make you happy and build on it
  • We all have 2 voices that whispers to us (good & evil) – it is up to us to decide which one we will listen to and which one we will ignore
  • All of us are a part of something bigger, something great – it may take years for us to find it, but if you pay attention to the signs happening all around you, open your mind and your heart
  • It’s ok to be a little crazy as long as you don’t hurt anyone else – Don’t hold yourself back just because society states it’s the norm.  People will think the things you say or do is just related to you being a little crazy.  But what they don’t realize is that you are doing what you want to do, where and when you want to do it.  Living life a little bit more than everyone else since you’re removing your restrictions

Assuming that bad things will never happen is unrealistic, however each and every one of us should never stop moving, never stop learning, never stop dreaming, never stop loving yourself and others, and lastly just living life.  There are those who strive their whole lives to take something that is not theirs.  But what they will never take away the one thing that makes us all special, our ability to take the damage and keep rising to the stars.

Why were attracted to funny people


Let’s face it, it’s better to have a conversation with a funny person vs. having one with half a personality.  Being around someone that has a lively personality and doesn’t mind making you laugh, makes your day a bit better, relaxes your nerves and is even an attraction factor.

From my own discussions with guys and girls growing up, they all believe that having a sense of humor is definitely up there with the qualities they are seeking in a partner.

So what is it about a person’s sense of humor that really places high on our charts?

The person is laid back – Being around an uptight person brings out worst in a setting.  However those who normally laughs all the time tends to take the relaxed approach and may normally be up to doing anything fun.

Increases the comfort level – No one likes being in an awkward situation.  That’s what happens when everyone is too serious to start a conversation.  Imagine what its like if you were in a relationship with a person that makes you feel like this in public.

Experience – People with a great sense of humor have often experienced hardship or survived something terrible that allows them to talk about in a different light.  Heck you can probably even ask them for advice.

Discards physical imperfections – A funny person doesn’t have to look like a super model.  A study from Northumbria University says that women are more likely to be attracted to men who have a good sense of humor, which has the power to overlook physical imperfections like beer bellies, and baldness.

Intelligence – Being funny can often be associated to being smart since the person has to portray the joke or story it in their own point of view while displaying it to us in a way that we understand as funny.

There are probably many other examples as to why we are attracted to those who cracks us up. Next time you’re out on a date, pay attention to see if these examples qualify the person to be attractive through your eyes.



Relationships – Styles of Love


In a relationship, there are stages that a person normally goes through when they are in love.  An article from YourTango.com states that there are actually 6 different styles.

Romantic – This love style is when you are deeply into the other person.  Normally due to being swept off your feet or possibly through physical attributes.

List Maker – This style of love is about sticking to your guns on whats important to you.  You may be the type of person that puts extra pressure for your mate to meet your standards in a relationship

The obsessive – This style of love is the type to want to be around the person all the time.  You are always concerned about what is your partner doing when they are away from you.  This can be over kill and may drive your significant other crazy at times.

Giver – This is the person who always gives more than they receive. You’re constantly thinking of your partners needs over yours and will often get the short end of the stick.

Player – This style of love often leads to a short relationship, due to boredom.  You like the thrill of being chased and chasing, but once your there you no longer crave your prize.

The Pal – This means that your love style is more of laid back than the rest.  You take your time and cherish hanging out with the person vs. trying to jump the gun on a serious relationship.  This often means that you take things slowly and waits to see what it could possibly turn out to be.

Regardless of style, you must consider 2 things for love to truly be a wonderful experience.

1 – Take the time to think about the impact that you have on your partner and vise versa.  Love is about opening yourself to receive as much as giving.  Don’t be too greedy or too generous.

2 – Don’t force it or stray it along for too long.  If you are really in love, then show it without shoving it through your mate’s throat.  They will know you affection based on actions.  Just don’t do anything stupid or out of line that it will require them to put a restraining order on you.

On the flip side, if you no longer love the person and your just keeping them there to keep you company, then really you’re not being fair to them or yourself.  Allow them to find their own soul mate, and you may even see that you find another that will give you the feeling you always wanted.

Love can be interpreted in many ways. But in a relationship thinking of only yourself can be a recipe for heartbreak and disappointment. Don’t sell yourself short, but don’t rob others of it as well.  Keep in mind that love is about experience, learning, growth and appreciation.



Myths about Relationships


There are a lot of different myths I heard growing up.  But the ones that really stick out are the ones about relationships.  Whether you have the perfect mate or you like the person just enough for you to stand, it’s always good to keep in mind that you are both in it together so the best way for you to express your feelings is to “Communicate Effectively” to your other half.

This varies for everyone.  Some communicate well after being a part for a few hours, while others want to solve it right on the spot.  Some do it by screaming (which I would never recommend), while others work it out by doing some activities together such as sports, games, or even a walk at the park or beach.

Below are some relationship myths that we should reconsider:

1-      “The couple that plays together stays together” – Now don’t get me wrong, I absolutely believe in sharing some of the activities with your other half, however we all need time to ourselves.  1 lesson I learned from a good friend of mine is that “a little bit of separation, brings a whole lot of appreciation”.

2-      “Never go to bed angry” – I for one vouch for this.  For one it’s easier to rest when you know that there is a form of resolution.  Yet keep in mind that sometimes agreeing to fix there on the spot can also mean that you will be up for a lot longer than you may think.  One suggestion made by happiness expert Gretchen Rubin, author of Happier at Home. Is that “People tend to fight at night when they’re really tired.  Instead of continuing to fight, suggest that you have a good night’s sleep and then talk about it.” The disagreement may seem a whole lot sillier once you’ve both had a chance to cool off”.

3-      “Marriage means happily ever after, no fighting allowed” – Even if the storyline before marriage comes from a fairy tale book, eventually it’s going to happen.  When it does happen 1 of 2 things will be the result: A – you don’t resolve the problem, it escalates and now this is a bridge to future arguments that can be catastrophic to your relationship. B – you somehow find a median that works for both of you, apologize for “your mistake” (assuming that they will do the same), and work on it to build a stronger, more meaningful relationship.  Tina B. Tessina, PhD, (aka “Dr. Romance”), psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage suggests to “avoid screaming matches and name calling. Instead, take a moment to calm down so that you can approach the issue in a rational way”.

4-      “A Baby will make your marriage/relationship stronger” – A study in 2009 by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that having kids often leads to a sharp drop in marital bliss.  So in short, don’t do it at all for this reason!

Relationships are meant to be a key to fulfill the emotional side for you and your significant other. It’s a 2 ways street, getting feedback is just as important as giving it.  And finally have fun, you only live once!  Be sure to read more blogs by Lisa Milbrand and check out the source for this blog at thenest.com.