Relationships – Styles of Love

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In a relationship, there are stages that a person normally goes through when they are in love.  An article from YourTango.com states that there are actually 6 different styles.

Romantic – This love style is when you are deeply into the other person.  Normally due to being swept off your feet or possibly through physical attributes.

List Maker – This style of love is about sticking to your guns on whats important to you.  You may be the type of person that puts extra pressure for your mate to meet your standards in a relationship

The obsessive – This style of love is the type to want to be around the person all the time.  You are always concerned about what is your partner doing when they are away from you.  This can be over kill and may drive your significant other crazy at times.

Giver – This is the person who always gives more than they receive. You’re constantly thinking of your partners needs over yours and will often get the short end of the stick.

Player – This style of love often leads to a short relationship, due to boredom.  You like the thrill of being chased and chasing, but once your there you no longer crave your prize.

The Pal – This means that your love style is more of laid back than the rest.  You take your time and cherish hanging out with the person vs. trying to jump the gun on a serious relationship.  This often means that you take things slowly and waits to see what it could possibly turn out to be.

Regardless of style, you must consider 2 things for love to truly be a wonderful experience.

1 – Take the time to think about the impact that you have on your partner and vise versa.  Love is about opening yourself to receive as much as giving.  Don’t be too greedy or too generous.

2 – Don’t force it or stray it along for too long.  If you are really in love, then show it without shoving it through your mate’s throat.  They will know you affection based on actions.  Just don’t do anything stupid or out of line that it will require them to put a restraining order on you.

On the flip side, if you no longer love the person and your just keeping them there to keep you company, then really you’re not being fair to them or yourself.  Allow them to find their own soul mate, and you may even see that you find another that will give you the feeling you always wanted.

Love can be interpreted in many ways. But in a relationship thinking of only yourself can be a recipe for heartbreak and disappointment. Don’t sell yourself short, but don’t rob others of it as well.  Keep in mind that love is about experience, learning, growth and appreciation.

Source:

http://www.yourtango.com/2013177668/what-kind-lover-are-you

Myths about Relationships

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There are a lot of different myths I heard growing up.  But the ones that really stick out are the ones about relationships.  Whether you have the perfect mate or you like the person just enough for you to stand, it’s always good to keep in mind that you are both in it together so the best way for you to express your feelings is to “Communicate Effectively” to your other half.

This varies for everyone.  Some communicate well after being a part for a few hours, while others want to solve it right on the spot.  Some do it by screaming (which I would never recommend), while others work it out by doing some activities together such as sports, games, or even a walk at the park or beach.

Below are some relationship myths that we should reconsider:

1-      “The couple that plays together stays together” – Now don’t get me wrong, I absolutely believe in sharing some of the activities with your other half, however we all need time to ourselves.  1 lesson I learned from a good friend of mine is that “a little bit of separation, brings a whole lot of appreciation”.

2-      “Never go to bed angry” – I for one vouch for this.  For one it’s easier to rest when you know that there is a form of resolution.  Yet keep in mind that sometimes agreeing to fix there on the spot can also mean that you will be up for a lot longer than you may think.  One suggestion made by happiness expert Gretchen Rubin, author of Happier at Home. Is that “People tend to fight at night when they’re really tired.  Instead of continuing to fight, suggest that you have a good night’s sleep and then talk about it.” The disagreement may seem a whole lot sillier once you’ve both had a chance to cool off”.

3-      “Marriage means happily ever after, no fighting allowed” – Even if the storyline before marriage comes from a fairy tale book, eventually it’s going to happen.  When it does happen 1 of 2 things will be the result: A – you don’t resolve the problem, it escalates and now this is a bridge to future arguments that can be catastrophic to your relationship. B – you somehow find a median that works for both of you, apologize for “your mistake” (assuming that they will do the same), and work on it to build a stronger, more meaningful relationship.  Tina B. Tessina, PhD, (aka “Dr. Romance”), psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage suggests to “avoid screaming matches and name calling. Instead, take a moment to calm down so that you can approach the issue in a rational way”.

4-      “A Baby will make your marriage/relationship stronger” – A study in 2009 by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that having kids often leads to a sharp drop in marital bliss.  So in short, don’t do it at all for this reason!

Relationships are meant to be a key to fulfill the emotional side for you and your significant other. It’s a 2 ways street, getting feedback is just as important as giving it.  And finally have fun, you only live once!  Be sure to read more blogs by Lisa Milbrand and check out the source for this blog at thenest.com.

Source:

http://ideas.thenest.com/love-and-sex-advice/dealing-with-relationship-issues/slideshows/relationship-myths.aspx

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